johnhirsch.org

Killer pro roadie and Strong Like Bull alumni Silke Wunderwald did and interview for the www.stronglikebulltraining.com with me. Check it out. Also with 3 people signing up in the last week you better get a move on before we fill or else your gonna be riding around in snow not lovely southern Spain.

[you may recall that my man Bro is a life coach and I sometimes have him stop in to write for my site. You can check his first two columes here http://johnhirsch.org/?p=1258 and http://johnhirsch.org/?p=1299 ]

Hola Readers, Bro here. Sorry for the delay. Let me just start by saying 1) if anyone asks you to be a “mule” it has nothing to do with animals. And 2) I am sick of mexican food. Its all they serve in that Mexico City jail. Huge thanks to my friend Manuel Dejesus Esq for his fine legal work to get me out early and back home so I could write this important colume to help all my bros and brolets.

Ok first question:
Bro, I got a little fat over the last 4 years. Got away from triathlon and the kids take up a lot of my time. I have trouble balancing being a great dad and also taking care of myself. Thanks for your help, Didn’t Ask for Death,

Dear D.A.D,
Kids are so freakin’ needy. Seriously, its always,” I need love,” and “look what I did,” and stuff. Just the other day my training buddy had to miss a workout to take his kid to the hospital because the kid fell out of a tree. I was like WHAT? My take was if the kid is ok enough to climb a tree and fall it out its ok enough to get itself to the hospital right? I mean at least run the kid to the hospital so you can get in some running work on the way there.

You need to take care of you. If you have a stroke your no good to anyone and the Obama death counsel will see to it you are no more. To keep the unwanted pounds off you need to TRAIN MORE. This will help you lose those pounds, stay healthy, and live long enough to be a jerk when you get older. Plus when you get older you can say crazy ass stuff and no one can give you grief because your old. If they do you just say “what the hell do you know? Your not old like me.” Plus driving wrecklessly looks kinda fun.

You should also get TATTOO SLEEVES. When your kids misbehave and see there pops is covered in ink they won’t mess around. Also when then see you finish a big race they will be so proud as you thrust your tattooed sleeves in the air doing what others only dream of that you will be not only taking care of yourself but setting an example for them of healthy living, dream chasing, and don’t if people mess with ya they get stabby.

Dear Bro,
I love my man but for whatever reason I keep beating him in races. I know its hard for the male ego to lose to a girl and get chicked, but its even worse when you get chicked by your chick. What should I do?
Female Athletes Speeding to Top

Dear.F.A.S.T,
The male ego is fragile and we as a society are highly competive. This makes it hard for a guy to watch his girlfriend or wife beat his ass repeatedly. But in the end he needs to realize that its awesome that you are awesome. Its like rolling to a party with a super hot girl. You can either be jelious of all the other guys looking to steal her away, OR you can take it as an ego boost that she is with you. So much of this about perspective. Is your guy the type to have you rock a burka when you go out or a tight short skirt? That’s a good way to tell if he is threatened or stoked. One thing you can do to get him to come around is to TRAIN MORE. Training with him should help you two feel like a team so he can feel like he helped you kick ass and share in your ass kickery. Also in tri there is normally one sport everyone is bad at. Doing those workouts with him will allow you to pump up his ego while also raising your game. I also suggest you get TATTOO SLEEVES. Too often girls play down how much ass they kick. You need to steal the show at races and stand out. Being a total freak at the generally upper-middle class sporting events will help him feel like a freak too and with a freak.

 He might wanna get TATTOO SLEEVES too, so its you two vs. the world. Also this means that even if he loses to you he takes top 3 in the tattoo sleeve division which has its awards right after the Clysdales and aqua-bike. My only advice is not to get each others names as tatts, that just always jinxs the relationship.
Dear Bro, I wanna get a tattoo of my ironman, but am not down with a corperate logo. How do I reprent the spirit of the race without commericalism?
Making Bad Symbols,

Dear MBS,

 Whatever you do don’t get to carried away. For example one guy I know when from ironman to the idea of iron, to the iron planet of mecury to the symbol of mecury which is that circle with the arrow that also means “male.”

Even in our tiny sport no one would have gotten that. Also he is kinda pretty and I think a lot of gay guys would have taken that the wrong way as he isn’t gay (not that there is anything wrong with that.)

Of course you may want to GET TATTOO SLEEVES. On thing Mr. Henry Rollins has showed us is that if you get enough bad tattoos on your arm they just blend together to look kinda bad ass.

You might also wanna TRAIN MORE. Mr. Rollins trained more and got big a strong and cut and tough looking, which is a good way to have less people give you crap about a bad tattoo.

Lastly you can just keep me around to save you from aweful tattoos and help you design a good one.

Hey Readers…

you doing Montaukman? They have a team division and I wanna enter a team We got 5 of the CREW going as of now. We need a few more to join us to meet the number needed of 7. If you are thinking about doing the race, are doing the race, or want to do the race let me know. My email is hyctn [at] aol [dot] com

oh and we are going to win. You so wanna win.

Over on the Strong Like Bull Training Camp www.stronglikebulltraining.com  site we are doing a series of interviews of past and future SLB athletes. Check out the one of the Annachrist aka Miss Murder which just went up.

“Once again there is a lot of play between time and causality- the understanding comes after the commitment, not before.” – Ankur Shah from Sometimes We Walk Alone

I just signed up for Mountaukman. A great race being held on 10.4.09. It was here that I made my first break through s a pro in 2005 taking second. It was here in 2007 that I won the sprint race then was 6th the next day to requaify as a pro. With a lot of the CREW rolling to it I am sure it will be epic and fun. I love this venue and race.
In the Meantime (Helmet) I am making the commitment. Its mental and physical. That means, sleeping not going out. It means taking care of business at my law job (worked 4 night court shifts till 1 am in 2 weeks) to free up october for training and racing. It means watching what I eat. It means sorting out my gear. Talking to my athletes, making training plans in advance and getting the deck cleared for the second season.
You make the commitment first. You make it without any promise made to you. Without anything taken for granted. This is even more true for my “second season” ie post ironman when I normally just call the year done. Where I could make this commitment only to fail and completely blow up. I am still tired, I couldn’t race right now if I had two. But I made the commitment to race in two weeks. Sports is a lot about hope.
I think a lot of people who do a big race for the first time feel this way. They don’t know what it feels like to finish. They don’t know if they can do it. They made the commitment and hope the understanding as to why they did it will be explained.
So do I.
(Coraline learned to play fetch this weekend)

2010 is already here. As the race season ends its time to plan how your gonna have a rocking 2010.

COACHING

Why not rock with the CREW and have me coach you? after 5+ years no one has ever DNF-ed while coached by me in an ironman. People have gone onto world and national championships. Most importantly everyone has gotten unlimited access to me, 100% custom training plans and all for the bargine price of 81.25 a month. For more info click here: 2010 spots are filling up so, don’t dally.

CAMPS

Also, with the first nips in of cold in the air you knoww snow, ice, and freezing tempature are coming. Come join me and the CREW in Southern Spain for the 5 year of Strong Like Bull. You get to train on epic roads in lovely weather out of a great training center. All for the low-low price of $1125 which includes all transportation within Spain, all food, prepared by a health food chef, 2 pro coaches, a bike mechanic, a follow van on all rides (soooo pro) and a yoga instructor. For more info, and to see the promo video visit www.stronglikebulltraining.com We are well over half full so again don’t dally or else you will be on your trainer all winter wishing you weren’t so dumb and had signed up to be in Spain.

Check out the podcast Zen and The Art of Triathlon featuring yours truly with my award winning “Live From the Pro Rack” segment.    http://texafornia.squarespace.com/ 

(ok, I didn’t win an award, but whatever).

I had never been without a dog. Ever. With Unions sudden death, I was not only sad, but also dogless. As the time passed and the part of my heart reserved doggies healed some and I knew it was a matter of time until I got another doggie. But timeing is a tricky thing. I believe in dog-fate. I hadn’t planned on getting Union. She and I found each other, her covered in poo, unfeed and neglected, and without much reflection I knew what had to happen. I had all these ideas about what my next dog would be like. Then I meet Coraline. She looked at me at the North Shore Animal Adoption Center and it was clear she found me. She was the “wrong” breed, age, color. But she was the right soul. It was fate. (I can’t say enough great things about this place that saves animals lives, and also humans as they help us find our humanity by caring for animals www.nsal.org). I also know how close she came to being killed and knowing that 4 million animals are killed yearly makes my feeling for her even stronger.

I think she knows it too. You get a rescue dog and it knows. Dogs are amazing that way, how many humans know how to be thankful and loyal like that? The fact that Coraline could have been abandoned by a human, then a stray, then in a shelter and still be able to love is amazing, and inspiring. When I walked in there was a woman there that saw me and knew Coraline and said, you two are right for each other and suggested we play together in there dog-human get-to-know each other area. Coraline is clearly a runner, and the one of the truest things I ever heard (even though it was ironicly said by a liar) was that dogs and their owners start looking like each other. We mirror each other, and also in time because of the shared life, we start to take on the same traits. If your fit you will pick a fit dog, and be active with it, generally. Next time you see a dog and owner check out this theory.

So now Coraline is home, safe and sound, happy and healthy, day one of the rest of our lives. Its so good to livea life filled with love and doggie kisses. With walks and hikes and runs with your best friend. There is something about a dog that cuts through walls that men make around there hearts. That bring us back to our boyhood, when we loved openly and dependantly. When love was thought of like air, food and water. When money didn’t matter. When exersise was reflexive, when racing didn’t have results, and courses were around backyards not entire states. Ok gotta Coraline has a run to do